Archive for the I Blog You Category

 

My name is…

Oct 01, 2008 by rowan in I Blog You

You might be interested to know what’s the hidden meaning of your name. Blogthings could tell it. But its accuracy of course is questionable.

ROWAN

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very charming… dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let’s hope you’re a benevolent dictator!

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals

WHAT’S SEXY ABOUT YOUR NAME

You are sexy because you are smart. People know that there is more to you than meets the eye.
You are alluring and mysterious. While many people are intrigued by you, the feeling isn’t mutual.

It takes a lot for someone to turn you on. First and foremost, you’re only attracted to someone who’s incredibly brilliant.
But you just don’t go for brains alone. Physical attractiveness is something you won’t compromise on.

You of all people can afford to be picky. You are demanding, but you are also in demand.
And when someone gets you alone, you’re truly amazing. Not many people get to see you in action

Oh, my kulay!

Sep 16, 2008 by rowan in I Blog You

Whenever we have new employee just when we do the usual indoctrination process, either Gilbert or I would ask the new guy, if you were a butterfly what color would you be?

Psychology of colors?

Then we’d laugh once we got the answer. Well, we laugh regardless of the answer. Sick!

(If we’re not satisfied we would shift to graphology.  Then laugh again. How bad HR people can be! Hahaha!)

Seriously, I like black. Prefer earth tones.

Anyway, saw this site - careerpath.com and just did their color test.

Here’s to share the interesting result!

Toink!

Rowan Cute , (yahoo!) based on our experience with many different professionals, your color preferences indicate that the occupations below best suit your personality and interests. Note also that a listed profession, never before considered, may seem off. For example, if you love to type, data entry operator might be listed as well, even though you want to be a fiction writer.

BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY 

Key Words: Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional

You’re a CREATOR

These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

CREATOR OCCUPATIONS

Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

CREATOR WORKPLACES

Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.
Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

2nd BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY

Key Words: Tactful, Cooperative, Generous, Understanding, Insightful, Friendly, and Cheerful

You’re a SOCIAL MANAGER

This very social type enjoys working in groups, sharing responsibilities, and being the center of attention. Fields of interest are instructing, helping, nurturing, care giving and instructing-especially young people. They discuss and consider feelings in order to solve problems, lead, direct, persuade, guide, organize and enlighten others.

Oh, my kulay!

You’re a creator! Hell, I am god!

You’re a social manager! Hell boy,  I am pimp!

Nyahahaha!!!

Need a career shift?

Dunno.

But what’s wrong with moonglighting when HR peeps love testing the waters! Hahaha!

 

 

So elementary!

Aug 26, 2008 by rowan in I Blog You

Dahil masyadong masinop si Nanay, natago niya pa rin ang mga report cards namin.

Tulad nito noong Grade Two ako:

Natatawa pa rin ako sa grades ko noong 4th grading. Masyado yata akong mabait kay Ma’am Camacho.

Pero minsan, pressure ang ganito. You have to maintain your grades hanggang college, kung hindi, hahampasin ka ng palo-palo ni Nanay, o kaya yung hawakan ng walis tambo patatamain sa bukong-bukong mo, o kaya walang oras ang pagsermon, matutulog na lang pinapagalitan ka pa. Hindi ka naman pwedeng sumagot kasi bata ka pa. Hahaha!

Peace, ’Nay!  Siguro naman hindi kita nabigo. Belated Happy Birthday!

Some shambled shits

Aug 22, 2008 by rowan in I Blog You

Sound of silence

Dead air.

I hate this silent interlude.

I should have been ranting even dissonant discourses before I could be totally fed up with moments of musings of missing.

Arrgh! 

***

Youtube-ing

As I’ve always been fascinated with choral music, Youtube-ing will not be complete without watching these videos:

1.University of the Philippines Singing Ambassadors and their rendition of   Ama Namin (Calalang).  Sooooo beautiful! Love it!

2.Of course The Madz will always be an all-time favorite. Doubling its feat at the European Grand Prix, who will never get mad? You will love their touching interpretation of What A Wonderful World. Haay…

3.Imusicapella gone a long way. Tristan Ignacio’s group has always displayed character and discipline in their performances. Hope to catch their live performance.

4.I remember singing the solo part of Dakilang Katapatan way back in college. (Hahaha! I must sing or I’d lose my choir scholarship grant which was way better than to maintain a ‘decent’ grade for the college scholarship. Hahaha!) I found this inspiring version of Manila Chamber Singers. I should have kept our own recording. ( Better? No. I got no proof. Hahaha! )

5.Prime Note Ensemble of Saudi Arabia is the 1st Filipino a capella choir in Saudi Arabia. They clinched a silver medal in Graz, Austria’s hosting of the 5th World Choir Games. What a sweet, say calculated, step to glory after the group’s bronze medal finish in Xiamen, China. No new uploads yet of their recent win. Kudos for bringing honor to the Philippines and representing the Kingdom.

***

Joke choke

Office Gags (O-gags!)

Lagi ko itong sinasabi, para kaming nasa gag show sa office. I mean, at least, sa ibang mga ka-opisina na hindi kulang sa joke.

Alam ko namimiss ito ni Gilbert. Kaya bilisan mong magbakasyon at tapusin na ang pagdedeliver ng bangus belly. Nakapapagod din kayang mag-monitor ng mga kalokohan na mag-isa. Halimbawa:

1. Magbilang ng ‘Yes, Sir!’’.

2. Maghanap sa mga abusado sa plural form tulad ng That’s problems!

3. Bilugan ang mga apostrophe na biglang sumusulpot sa bulletin board, sa mga office documents at iba pang official correspondence.

4. Palihim na tanggapin ang pagkalito sa paggamit ng your at you’re sa kabila ng patuloy na pamumuna. Parang Your welcome ganun. Insistent eh, sige hayaan na lang.

5. Abangan ang mga bagong bigkas na salita tulad ng mining (manning) at vahicle (vehicle). Mga sensyales yan ng pag-angat ng antas sa lipunan na dapat nag-e-evolve ang pronunciation, di ba Edong? Parang Octover (October), Setember (September) at Fev (Feb).

No anagram

Alam kong hindi ako kopya sa email ni Nino when he asked our manager about something. Pero baliw si Edong because he forwarded to me the email where Nino put UEA instead of UAE. Hahaha! Yan nililito nyo si Nino eh.

Then Edong asked, malapit ba ang UEA sa UAE?

Eto ang mga pagkakataong hindi ko pinalalampas kaya. Kaya sagot. Parang ganito: (extended version)

Ang UEA kasi ay dating bahagi ng UAE. Nag-aklas ang una dahil gusto nitong magsarili – magkaroon ng sariling pamahalaan ganun. (Wag nang autonomy ang gamitin baka masyadong mabulabog si thesaurus sa kaka-right click). Ngunit mararamdaman pa rin ang pagkakaiba sa dalawang ito. Halimbawa kung ang pangalan mo ay Juan Macapagal Estrada kapag nasa sa UAE, pag nagpunta ka sa UEA magiging Juan Estrada Macapagal. Ganun. Nyahaha!

 
Color Wheel

Friend Nino just got his driving license! Yahoo!

But no Yahoo!

Nalilito pa rin kasi siya sa right at left sabi ni Edong. Paano pa nga naman kung sa traffic lights. Aba tatlong kulay kaya yun.

Parang gusto ko syang i-test sa color wheel? Napag-aralan ko dati yun sa MAPE. Nyahahaha!

Paano yan Nino, di ka raw pakakasalan ni Florence kapag di mo nasaulo ang color wheel. Patay.

Pero what is Accounting muna raw? Hahaha!

 
Questions from the Central Jury

Naaalala ko si Ms. Nini kapag may mga baliw na tanong. Kalimitan kasi naming itanatanong ito sa mga agents during the HR orientation. Bawal kasi ang kulang sa joke sa amin, tatanggalan ng incentives. Hehehe! But I could not ask these questions here. I don’t think the Indians, the Saudis or the Nepalese will get the humor.

So here are some of the sample questions.

1.Sa China ba ang mga kwago singit din?

2.Takot ba ang bulag sa multo?

3.Ang isda ba pinupulikat din?

4.May kuba bang pagong?

5.Kapag naihian ba ng palaka ang kapwa palaka, magkaka-kulugo rin?

6.May duling bang tarsier?

7.May magugulatin bang bingi?

Baka may ma-share kayo. Tanong man o sagot. Wala lang.

Baliw.

Kwentong taksil over coffee

Jul 22, 2008 by rowan in I Blog You

“Mocha Frappe Grande! Tall Brewed Coffee!” sigaw ng barista.

“Kunin mo na yun ako nanglibre!”

“Eh ano kung ikaw?”

“Ang hirap nitong kasama talaga!” akmang mambabatok.

“So what about? Parang gumagabi na kaya!” pagkalapag na pagkalapag ng  kape.

Kapag ganyan na ang tono , alam niyang naiirita na siya dahil ayaw niya kaagad na magsimula.

“Eh, eto na nga.”

Sumipsip muna ng kape.

“Hindi tayo maglalasing kaya bilisan mo. At pangalawa, mahal ang kape sa Starbucks sana sa bahay na lang pala tayo nagkanaw ng Nescafe dahil di ka pa nakapaguumpisa, paubos na yan! Mamapak ka pa in between.”

“Parang treat ko to, di ba?”

“Ay oo nga no. Order ka pa nga para mas matagal, mas masaya? Try mo baka may diningding frappe sila diyan yaman din lamang mahilig ang lahi nyo sa gulay.”

“Alam mo, sa lahat ng matatawag na kaibigan ikaw ang napaka-impatient. Gusto laging mabilis. Parang simeco. Si-me-co. Gusto laging sumagot kagad. Pwede po bang bumuwelo? I mean, di ba kahit naman sa mga newscast eh may music intro, kahit pati libro?”

“Ano gusto mo magpaka-ER na naman. Wala kaya tayo sa office. Saka pucha naman, hindi naman ako na-eexcite eh. Mike Enriquez ikaw ba yan? Dahil sa malamang sa hindi, dating storyline yan iba lang mga characters, naiba lang ang location baka ngayon medyo napunta na kayo sa Fuego (at di mo alam kung saan yun) tapos yung twist eh mas na-twist pa. Yung baling-bali na special orthopedic case na talaga. Tapos may background kayong music ng Emergency ni Arnold Clavio.”

“Epal!”

“Because you’re so highschool to talk about love at your age! Kala ko kasi na-overcome mo na yan kasi matanda ka na. Kala ko wala ka nang feelings.” Sabay tawa.

“Mukhang teenager naman ako ah! Saka I still deserve to love and to be loved.”

“Slumbook? Kawawa namang high school ito, bata pa eh nakasungaw na ang  alopecia!” tapos ngingisi-ngisi.

Sumama ang titig.”Walang personalan, nasa genes kaya yan!”

“Ang alin? Ang mukha o ang buhok?” Tawanan.

“Hosia, kwento na! Pag ito parang Ora Engkantada, patay ka sa akin!”

“Oo na!”

“Fire!”

“Hindi nga ba nung nagbakasyon ako nung May…”

Sumabat…”Hindi ko alam!”

“Eto na nga at nagkukwento na eh!”

“Ah yun na ba yun? Kala ko intro ng newscast. Okey carry on! Sorry po!”

“Nung nagbakasyon ako may nakilala ako sa Pinas.”

“Okey… mukhang plagiarized story ah…”

“Let me continue kaya? Gusto mo ikaw na lang magkwento? Istorya ko kaya ito.”

“Bakit ako magpatuloy? Mind reader ba ako? Malay ko sa buhay na binubuhay mo.”

“Umeepal ka kasi eh.”

“Sige na sige na. Taas ng high blood!”

“Gago!”

“Sige na!”

“Ayun nga. I met this girl sa mall.”

“Pokpok ka talaga!”

“Ayan ka na naman eh.”

“Sige na di ka na mabiro.”

“Maganda siya. At first I thought kilala ko kasi we stared at each other  na matagal.Alam mo yung tipong kinikilala nyo ang isa’t isa. But then  hindi ko pala talaga kilala. We just smiled.”

” Ah parang scene sa movie na biglang nag slow motion ang galaw. Ganun ba? Teka saang mall ba yang shooting nyo?”

“Sa Robinson’s Galleria yung sa may EDSA, yung sa may likod nung EDSA shrine.”

“Gago ka ba alam ko naman yun. I-Google Earth ba ako. Palibhasa walang ganyan sa norte kaya galleria pa lang masyado ka nang na-eexcite at kinakabisa mo  na. Kung di ko pa alam baka napagkamalan mong stalagmite ang shrine. Paano pa kaya kung napadpad ka sa Mall of Asia baka sa lahat ng sulok, sa lahat ng stall may picture ka.”

“Ang sama mo.”

“Joke lang. Sige na kwento na.”

“I thought kilala ko sya. Pero yun nga hindi. So ikot uli ako kasi naghahanap ako ng damit kasi tumawag yung friends ko from Singapore na pupunta raw kami sa Davao kaya nagpabook na rin ako papunta roon. So ikot ako. Hanap-hanap. Ganun. Tapos nagkasalubong na naman kami. Nagkatawanan kami. Sabi ko, o ikaw na naman. Sumagot naman siya, oo nga eh. Pagkatapos nun nagkahiwalay na uli kami at kumain muna ko. So ayun pagkatapos kong kumain dumiretso uli ako sa paghahanap. Alam mo nagkita na naman kami uli!”

“Sobrang pinagtatagpo ah. Sinong direktor nyo si Binibining Joyce Bernal ba?”

“Epal ka talaga. Eto na. So nagkatawanan na uli kami. Kasi nga pangatlong beses na to.So kinausap ko na sya. I asked for her name. At hindi ko na sasabihin sa yo.”

“Syet, confidentiality is the best policy!”

“I mean at least I have kept her name secret. Hehehe!”

“So saan naman kayo nagpunta wala yatang malapit na Sogo run?

“Bastos mo talaga. So punta kami ng Starbucks para naman makapagusap kami. I learned that she’s married and she’s just killing time because she has to fetch her kids. Nakatira sya sa may Corinthian. She seemed intelligent. Graduate nga pala sya from Ateneo and her husband is a seaman. Tapos nag-sine pa kami.”

“Ayun na!”

“Anong ayun na?”

“Ayun na. Gumaganda na ang Tiktik. Hehehe!”

“Gago. So after nung movie nagpaalam na sya kasi nga susunduin nya mga anak  nya. I asked for her number at binigay naman nya.”

“Asus. Very Embassy! Very Absynth!  Hehehe!”

“Ano yun?”

“Ah wala yun. Wala yun sa Google Earth.”

“Sobrang saya ko lang nung kasama ko sya. I mean I just don’t know how to explain it but deep within me I know I like her sooo much. We started texting that night. It was surprising na we’re having the same feelings. Kaya we decided to see each other the following day. Nagkita kami sa ChowKing sa Park Square sa may likod ng Megamall.”

“Stop! Stop!”

“Bakit?”

“Ako wag mo kong nililito. Kailan pa naging Makati ang likod ng Mega? St. Francis Square yata yun. Tanga!”

“Ay oo nga ano. Ang galing mo talaga!”

“Hindi ako magaling. Tanga ka lang.”

“Eto naman parang hindi manager ang kausap.”

“Hindi mo ko subordinate. Forget that respect!”

“Oo na!”

“Sige kwento na gabi na kaya.”

“So nagkita uli kami.Tapos sinamahan nya pa akong bumili sa Speedo at sya pa ang pumili ng color for me. Sabi ko nga sa kanya kung nakilala ko sya nang mas maaga siya ang isasama ko sa Davao. Natawa lang sya. But I told her I’m serious.”

“Libog lang!”

“Ano ka ba para kang tanga. Walang sex na nangyari kaya.”

“Ay, tanga nga.”

Tapos tawa nang malakas.

“Hindi nga. I swear. Hindi kami umabot sa ganoon kahit may pagkakataon. That’s respect, bro. I love her.”

“Respect pwede. Love? Tama ba yun?Ang bilis mo naman yatang magdecide. Parang nagmoney transfer ka lang sa Western Union?”

“Ano ka ba, pinagdedesisyunan ba yun? Di ba nararamdaman yun?”

“Uy, nagpapaka-profound hindi bagay.”

“Ikaw kasi lahat sa ‘yo biro. Ay mali pala hindi ko na alam kung ano ang totoo o biro sa yo sa mga binibitawan mo.”

“Naku po. Eh ikaw naman kasi, mga kwento mo kung hindi hilaw, kumplikado, kung hindi magulo sobrang pantaserye.”

“Hindi nga in love na talaga ako sa kanya. Alam mo bang nung nasa Pearl Farm ako hindi ko rin na-enjoy eh. Sana kasama ko sya.”

“A, ang tawag yata roon ay aqua sex?”

“Umayos ka nga!”

“Hahaha!”

“Alam mo ba nung umuwi ako from Davao, she waited for me sa airport. Hinintay nya talaga ako.”

“Talaga naman po. Kawawa naman ang mga bata walang sundo sa school kasi ang nanay may kasamang ibang tatay!”

“Gabi ako dumating ok. Kaya nasundo nya pa rin yung mga bata. Saka ano ba, hindi ka ba masaya para sa akin?”

“Reality check, sir! Gising-gising sa tulog na mahimbing!”

“I just did. Kung kabaliwan ba to, katangahan, libog but I’m dead serious, bro. Nakupido nya ako kaya tuloy ikaw ang binubulabog ko.”

“Itulog mo lang yan. Hehehe! Bibigyan kita nang ilang linggo lang dyan at mawawala na rin yan. Saka nandito ka na. Pareho na kayong malayong asawa niya. Hahaha!”

“Hindi talaga. Simula nang magkahiwalay kami, nabago na ang buhay ko. Kanina nga nagtext sya kasi malapit na ang monthsary namin.”

“Siyet! Pang JS prom!”

“Alam kong marami pa akong dapat malaman sa kanya at ganun din sa akin. But we have talked almost everything under the sun - personal niyang buhay, mga anak nya, asawa, biyenan, problema sa pamilya lahat-lahat!”

“Alam ba niya na yung huling na-link sa yo namatay?”

“Gago ka talaga! Seryoso ako. Wala ka man lang bang maayos na payo diyan. Ano gagawin ko?”

“Una, masaya yan kasi nga may asawa di ba. Parang uy, ang galing. Nakakatigas ng etits. Pero imagine this na bigla na lang may kakalabog sa likod mo at hihilahin ang leeg mo pagdating mo sa NAIA. Hindi ka makagalaw ng maayos dahil ayaw mong malukot masyado ang Lacoste mong polo. Ayun pala nalaman ng asawa nya ang mga kalandian nyo at inabangan ka nya sa airport. Ay nagkataong dumaong ang barko nila sa Manila Bay ng araw na yun. Yung sobrang coincidence. Paano na lang ang pangarap mo sa bayan mo gusto mo pa namang maging councilor, di ba? Gusto mo ngang mag-paliga ng linggo-linggo, mag-padance contest every MWF at amateur singing contest every TThS. Mas maraming makikinabang kung mabubuhay ka. Kasi paano na lang kung bigla kang hamunin nang languyan noong seaman o kaya patagalan sa tubig? Ang unang lulutang, syempre patay. Malamang patay este talo ka na.  Unless mapatutunayan mo sa lahat na talagang kayo ni *toot* ang para sa isa’t-isa sige,  humayo at magpakarami, magpakahibang, gawin ang lahat ng position, magpaputok nang ilang ulit sa puting bed sheet. Pero kuya, hindi eh. Nakakalibog lang pero mali.”

Biglang tumunog ang cp…Way back into love… sabi nina Drew Barrymore at Hugh Grant.

“O ayan nagtext na naman sya. Miss na nya raw ako. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!”

“Pucha, mwah! mwah! mwah! Tapos di ko pa kinaya ang ringtone mo. Pwede bang request?

“Ano yun?”

“Palitan mo ang ringtone. Di bagay sa edad nyo.”

“Eh ano? Epal ka na naman”

“Pwedeng ‘Bakit’ ni Imelda Papin?”

“Hayop ka talaga!”

“Hahaha!”

“O ano na tara na, uuwi na ko. Pag ako di nakapasok bukas, sa yo ko kukunin ang sahod ko.”

“Alam mo daot lang nakuha ko sa yo eh.”

“Tanga, panggising lang yan sa pagtataksil nyo.”

“May request pala ako sa yo. Sige na please?”

“Ano naman yun? Sige request na but don’t pass the phone, please.”

“Baliw! Write me a poem. Please? Kahit maigsi lang. Bibigay ko sa kanya. Nasabi ko na kasi sa kanya yun eh.”

“Pasaway ka. Ikaw gumawa ng tula mo!”

“Akala ko pa naman kaibigan kita!”

“Leche ka talaga. Di ako marunong tumula. ”

“Sige na.”

“Isang venti muna!”

“Kapal din ah!”

“Marunong kang tumula?”

“Ilang venti ba?”

Bland entrée

Jun 24, 2008 by rowan in I Blog You

The truth is, I’m not ready for this. So kill me quick!

You might not be interested but in 2005 I had my first e-book of wishy-washy mushy tacky Filipino poems, Mga Gabi ng Pag-aabang. Despite some undesirable feedbacks I got from friends, and enemies, and friendly enemies for my pokpok poems, I planned for another serving which is a collection of what I have written down here in the middle earth which initially entitled Agwat: Mga Tula sa Pagitan. Unfortunately, it didn’t materialize. I just did the draft. Then another draft. Another. Draft. Drooped. Dropped.

Pathetic.

Weeks back when I got a chance to chat with poet-friend graphic design guru cum frustrated porn star Jun Lisondra, he mentioned that he can squeeze his so precious time to design a website for me! Isn’t that genius! Whoa! So kind of him!  Of course that sounded great the first time until I realized this is another fucking task. I was excited to have somehow shared this thing to some friends but the catch is, will I be able to maintain this site when I couldn’t even update my Friendster blog that often? I was also thinking do I need a website when I don’t know who’ll going to read me in the blogsphere? Could it be just a waste of time? I don’t know the answers. At least I don’t want to know now.

So when finally the domain name was purchased, I know I really have to start thinking of what I have to write here: like prosy, verbose, staccato feeling of sin and sex in the city (hahaha!), cheap testimonials, disbelief, dunes, sandstorms and acid wits.

Okay, okay, write all sorts of shit, all those stubborn, rubbish stuff – verses, verses, more verses of dying, of waiting, and waiting and dying, like my verses are forever, forever wanting to liberate and die.

Sorry I just have to start with this crap. Half-cooked. Okay, raw.